What I Found Under My Bed That Was Blocking Love

Here’s how I ended up crying in my kitchen when I let an international feng shui coach review my apartment

What I Found Under My Bed That Was Blocking Love
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Patricia showing up at my Harlem apartment. Can you see my excitement?

By Charreah K. Jackson

There I was crying in my kitchen.

This is not how I saw things happening when Patricia Lohan, a feng shui coach visiting from Bali came to my Harlem apartment to be a guest on my podcast. My microphone malfunctioned, so instead of discussing feng shui, which Patricia describes as working with space to create a fertile foundation for realizing your potential, she assessed my home for anything that might be blocking me from attracting love.

And then I wrote about the experience for the New York Times. Here’s an excerpt below:

While the decluttering guru Marie Kondo has the world tossing their unwanted socks because they no longer “spark joy,” Ms. Lohan teaches people how to make their space a reason to smile.

I first met Ms. Lohan, the author of “The Happy Home: Your Guide to Creating a Happy, Healthy, Wealthy Life,” just over a year ago at a media mixer in New York, where an eclectic crowd of thought leaders from around the world gathered to network. I loved Ms. Lohan’s energy and her stories. She shared that she was an Irish feng shui coach who lived in Bali with her husband, whom she manifested through the art of feng shui. I was intrigued and ready to give it a try.

I recently began dating again after breaking up with my long-term partner the same day I got the contract to write my first book on how ambitious women navigated their personal and professional lives, “Boss Bride: The Powerful Woman’s Playbook for Love and Success” (St. Martin’s Press, 2018). I was ready for my next great love and wanted her No. 1 tip.

Without hesitation, Ms. Lohan replied, “clear out under your bed.”

Storage space in a Manhattan apartment is sparse, so I was resistant.

Then I realized anything of value wasn’t hanging under my bed so I decluttered.

And what I found startled me: a t-shirt of a former lover.

New York-based feng shui consultant and founder of Phoenix and Rose Ms. Nitu Patel agrees with the top tip to clear out anything under your bed to refresh your energy. “Feng shui is about getting present,” she says. “Make your bedroom the love and sex sanctuary.”

Soon after cleaning everything from my under bed (and tossing the shirt and other reminders of past relationships) I felt lighter and started meeting more interesting men. A charismatic, take-charge acquaintance jumped out of the friend zone. We dated last year before he faced some health challenges and moved continents. 

When Mrs. Lohan visited my uptown one-bedroom, I was ready to reset my space for new love. Here are the four spots that opened my home and heart. 

The Front Door

When Mrs. Lohan began walking through my space, one of the first stops was the front door. A wire frame mannequin coat rack stood behind it. “When you come in you want the door to open as full as possible to maximize the possibilities coming into your life including energy, money and blessings.” I quickly moved that coat rack to the hallway. She also noticed the blank wall across from my entranceway. “When you open your front door let the first thing that you see spark joy,” she shared. Now my vision board gazes at me when I enter from a busy day. “New York is hectic, high strung and full of energy,” shares Ms. Laura Cerrano, CEO of Feng Shui Manhattan and a second-generation feng shui consultant trained by her mom. “It’s important to have balance and a place to call home. Your environment is an extension of you.”

The Bedroom

“Right now the way your bed is, it’s pushing away love,” Mrs. Lohan shared when we walked into my bedroom. I couldn’t change the architecture of the room but I could move my Vera Wang queen mattress off the wall, if only a little, and continue to keep under the bed clean. In an ideal scenario I would have nightstands on both sides of the bed, one for my partner and I. Not only should I be thinking furniture for my future partner, but also closet space. “Do yourself a favor and buy a few hangers on a different color and make a little promise, ‘These are for my guy,’” Mrs. Lohan advised. She had done the same thing soon before meeting her husband Ken. Ms. Patel recently moved to New York and intentionally saved room for a great love she anticipates. “If a man were to come in my life tomorrow, he would have a place to put his stuff. It’s ready,” she says. “Live as if you already have a partner. Leave a few drawers empty and have out coasters, a book and even a condom for your partner.”

For the other two tips head to the NY Times >>

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What I Found Under My Bed That Was Blocking Love

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I'm Charreah!

I'm a Georgia Girl who slept in her glasses as a kid because I wanted to see my dreams...I know the feeling of knowing there is more for you than what you can see in front of you.

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