By Charreah K. Jackson

Ready to take control of your communication? When The Today Show asked me to share effective communication tips we didn’t learn in school, I shared the four strategies that upgrade every convo

#1 Take Control of Your Tongue

Our entire life is simply a series of conversations. And every problem we ever have is ultimately a communication problem. The three biggest problems I see are:

1) we don’t value the power of communication to transform our lives. I’ve gone from middle seats to first class upgrade all from communication. I’ve literally communicated myself out of speeding tickets and into incredible opportunities including growing my business to clients on five continents, a seat in Oprah’s backyard and teaching at Disney World. All from consciously connecting with others.

2) Too many of us are carrying around old conversations where something that was said long ago is still running our show. It’s time to clear the slate in our thoughts and communication. Let go of the past and let people know how you feel and what you desire in the present.

3) every conversation we have with someone else is a reflection of the conversation we have about ourselves with ourselves. When you upgrade your relationship with yourself, you upgrade your communication with every person you encounter. I have my clients boost their confidence and connection with self by creating their own Shine Board on Trello. So one of the reasons I can have a great experience with the cranky sales rep or frazzled waiter is I understood someone’s cranky communication is not about me.

#2 Count the Cost of Not Saying No

“Saying no” is the ability to communicate your boundaries. If you aren’t able to unapologetically say no, your life is like an overgrown yard with wild animals running through because you haven’t held your boundaries. Everytime you say “yes” to doing something you are saying no to all the other things you would be doing instead. So when you are unable to say “no” at work or in your personal life, you then are saying “no” to your own dreams and the other ways you could spend your valuable time. Your time is precious asset that you only spend once. Inability to say no leads to a lot of regret of time wasted.

#3 Break Your Bottle Neck

The biggest way to increase your output is to increase your delegation. Our society struggles to request support and delegate tasks because of the myth of self-made. There is no such thing as self made. Every great person has help to get there. And delegating allows you to increase your impact. I coach a lot of high achievers to become high receivers. Delegating is rooted in your ability to request and receive support. In our digital world and restructured work setting in the pandemic, it’s important to take the time to properly communicate while delegating tasks so that you set your team up to win. if you are delegating via email. make sure to make time to answer any questions to ensure the team member handling the task is clear and confident on what is to be done. Delegating isnt dumping a to-do list. Delegating is effectively communicating the desired outcomes, resources and expectations to execute a task. Take the time to ensure your team has clear direction to accelerate performance. 

#4 Put Disagreements in Perspective

With our survival at risk in this pandemic, we’ve all had to reassess what, who and where we give our energy. You don’t have energy to waste on things that don’t matter. If you are looking for an energy refresh to shake off disagreements and frustrations, check out my free ebook refresh.  Take a deep breath before entering any tough conversations and commit to stay grounded. There have been plenty of would-be arguments that my calm became contagious for the other person. You get to choose how you respond in every situation. 

Enter every conversation with the attitude that we are on the same team working toward the same goal. I do this from the sales associate at the store to my friends and family. Identifying our shared purpose and goals gives us a foundation to build any conversation – especially when we don’t agree. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Your biggest job is to listen and acknowledge what you heard. When people feel heard they are much less antagonistic. After listening, it’s your turn to identify the common goal and on your perspective on the strategy that’s a win for you both.